All parents love their children, but does our love help them
prepare for a healthy and confident survival in the real world OR Does it only
give us a satisfaction that we did everything best for them? Sometimes both the
things might mean the same but not every time. Consider the following example:
When the child habitually throws his uniform around
and is never able to find his things at the proper place and on time- After
repeated warnings and guidance, continued intervention by the parent to arrange
his things and ensure a clean uniform for him is a self-indulgent form of love
which is further making the child careless, dependent and irresponsible and in
turn taking him one step further from responsible independent living. Tough
love in this case would either set and follow strict rules, or let the child go
about in dirty uniform, missing school box or incomplete notebooks and letting
him face the consequences thus learning the very important lesson of “Cause-Effect Relationship” that would go a long way in life.
We get many such opportunities to help the children
learn the importance of essential survival practices like self- discipline,
neatness, responsible behaviour etc.
True love is ‘Tough Love” that lets the child learn
early even though it may appear to the parent of being “harsh” or “unloving”.
The primary responsibility of the parent is to help
the child learn the ways of the world and the best and healthiest survival
practices. Indulging the child with expensive school, branded footwear,
expensive gadgets and luxurious trips are not the parameters of love. These are
activities that we indulge in to satisfy our need to be able to give the best
to the child and manya times even to show to the world what we can provide.
Regular and consistent showering of unconditionallove with a dash of tough love would save us from the use of harsh punishments
and would largely prevent the setting of depression, rebellion and
disconnection so commonly seen among kids and the youth today.
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