Tuesday, 30 August 2016

GUYS... ARE YOU REALLY MODERN? by Dr.sapna Sharma

Okay, I am not a feminist, but here’s one for the husbands and boyfriends.
DO you GIVE freedom to your partner?
Wait, I have another question - What is the need for you to GIVE her freedom? Is she not free herself?
We confidently claim to be the ‘modern’ generation. Our clothes and language and material choices do scream of modernity but, are we really modern? I mean in our thinking and approach towards life?
So if you are an exception, don’t take this personally.
When you fall for a girl, you have certain parameters in your mind. Interestingly most men wish for a modern woman. You wish for a wife whom you can proudly present to the society, with whom you can talk, who should be very attractive to you, she should be game for your definition of parties, and her attractive dressing sense is an added magnet for you to begin with. Her being educated is of course so very important for you.
Often once this alliance is formalized your vocabulary changes. What she should not wear, whom she should not talk to, how she should take care of the entire household whether she works equal hours as you or not. I often witness guys also telling their partner things like, “why did you laugh so much?” “How can you dance in front of so many?” “Sit down everyone if looking at you” “Why can't you dress up like everyone else?”
Then there are those “ultra modern” ones who believe it is their right to marry a girl of their choice in the modern world, but when their parents discuss dowry and huge expenses with the bride's family they simply back of saying, “I can't hurt my parents!!”
You like to decide what kind of place she should work in, that she should not be casual with her work colleagues, that she should have outings only with your friends, and then when she fights you say, “I GIVE you so much freedom to work and you don’t value that”.
Really? Can you imagine she saying this to you? Obviously not, because deep down the garb of modernity we are still the same. A man is FREE but a woman needs to be GIVEN FREEDOM.
Reality check guys: What is your normal vocabulary:
1. I let her work OR It is her choice whether to work or not
2. I let her follow her passion OR She is very passionate about her hobby
3. Our family gives her full freedom OR In our family, we all have a right to choose
4. I give her permission to be with her friends till late OR She loves to have a great time with her friend.
5. She works but kitchen is her domain OR We share housework too.
No need to share your answers with anyone, but certainly time to think.
Till the time your vocabulary is not free of: I GIVE HER FREEDOM, you are not modernized yet- Look for a partner who can match your thinking and can be the obedient wife you actually need. Believe me, life would be so much simpler.
(Another one would follow for the girls soon)

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Lets Go...by Dr.Sapna Sharma

We want to be happy and we want to live in peace but we keep holding on to the very things and people that are causing us the pain and hurt. Learning to identify those things that bind us to our pain and letting them go is the spiritual and practical way of living a happy and peaceful life.
Watch this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DksrR1GdYQs
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/let-go-dr-sapna-sharma?trk=pulse_spock-articles

Monday, 15 August 2016

HAVE STRESS? –SHARE IT!

We all siblings would create some issue or other for our parents to handle. Of course, we didn’t mean it that way. We just thought we were very smart!! To our parents, that would simply spell as Trouble with a capital ‘T’. But my father would often discuss those issues with people around- friends, family, colleagues. Frankly to me it simply meant embarrassment. “Why can’t he keep the family matters to the family?” but he grew stronger every day.

Years later as I sit in my office counselling distressed families and couples and parents, one thing that strikes me is that they all want their troubles and problems to be buried inside my chamber. Often I hear this, “We don’t share our problems with anyone. They would only make fun of my child… anyway my brother in law thinks very high of himself”
 


 No wonder we are stressed and under tremendous pressure to appear good and ideal in every way. We can’t share. As a generation, we are obsessed with creating an ideal pictures of us and our families. A task that is almost next to impossible. We would have flaws till such time that we are still humans. But we do not wish to accept that.

 I meet beautiful looking people, some with wealth overflowing and others with degrees and certificates that cannot be accommodated on one wall. And they are stressed. Almost breaking inside every moment in a desperate attempt to hold their masks of ‘perfection’ in place. They fight among themselves and abuse their challenging children but then they put on their masks with wide smiles to the outside world. We show this photo-shopped picture to not just the random world but to our closest family and friends. We cannot accept that things can be wrong with us.

 We as a generation are expending huge energy on hiding our pain and trying to prove to the world that there is nothing wrong with us. Hence we can’t even ask for solutions. Try sharing for once. Try asking for help. You may not get an immediate solution but the moment you share half your burden is taken care of. You may cry while sharing and that takes care of some more of your stress. And now you have one more head and 2 more hands to help sort out your troubles. If not anything there is one place you can be yourself, not pretend to be perfect and enjoy a genuine smile or tear.

Life would continue to offer challenges, children would fall in love and spouses would cheat. Bosses may be partial and we might be cheated on. But that is life. Why feel ashamed? You are not the only on in this world to face it. Try sharing and you would be better equipped to face it without unnecessary stress of pretending to be perfect.

Friday, 12 August 2016

IT IS ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL





People are very interesting in the sense that they are each very unique and have a strong individuality in their personality. However, they gather under the umbrella of an organization that caters to some of their needs. Initially the focus is on the fulfillment of those outer worldly needs. In time those aims of joining the organization or cause come to be a routine and that is when the unrest peeks up its head.

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

where to find peace



Often we tend to blame the circumstances and people for our stress, disturbed mind and life. However, inner peace and happiness has nothing to do with what is happening in the world or what others are doing.

Appreciation Therapy by Dr.Sapna Sharma

APPRECIATION THERAPY- By Dr. SAPNA SHARMA
Please do SHARE if you believe it can help someone.

Did anyone ever say to you, “You are the best!” or something similar? I can bet that the very thought of that memory, even if it had happened years back, would bring sparkle to your eyes and warmth in your heart.

That is the magic of appreciation. Two words, just two are enough. “Hi beautiful” said even by a stranger makes the day. We know it. We have all experienced it. Doesn’t matter what the praise is about but the feeling is same- simply great. We want to believe every word said in our praise. We know we all crave for this feeling of being praised. Why else do we keep checking back for comments ever few minutes when we post anything on the social media?


We know it. We want it and we use it to encourage people or to impress them in formal settings. And yet we are so stingy when it comes to giving out praises to our friends and family. In fact we find every reason not to do it.
When I was growing up the adult Buzz- word was: “Don’t praise the children or you will spoil them!!”  And boy! Did they follow it to the hilt!! I grew up believing there was nothing good about me. And trust me- that hurts!!
You know it of course. And yet it is so difficult to appreciate those who are really dependent on us for their dose of praise! Interestingly most of us find it rather awkward to say good things to people close to us. Things like ‘I love you’, ‘you are so handsome’,  ‘you are the best child a parent could have’ and more find place only in a very few households. Rest of us believe that such things are not be expressed only experienced especially by the close ones.
If that is so then why do we express our anger and our disapproval so often and in so many words too? We can even justify some of our physical and mental violence under the pretext of “they deserve it”. What surprises me is that those bad words said with real rage, that hysterical shouting, those emotional neglects…all those really bad things we do so very easily and so frequently but are so very shy even to tell our spouse simple words like, “I love you, you are the best.”

There is magic in appreciation. We expect great relationships, loyal partners and obedient loving children. We get them things that money can buy and spend our days and nights to earn for that, but we do not make efforts to consciously think what wonders a few words can do. Often I meet people who make no efforts to say those few inexpensive words even when their partners tell them so directly and beg them to do so. They brush it away with, “these are all so cheap, superficial things. Parents reprimand their children for not being confident, bosses chastise employees, but find it so difficult to engage in systematic appreciation routine to raise their self-esteem. And then if your need  appreciation, how are they different from you?
All it needs is a desire to genuinely see your loved ones happy and confident. It is easy, most inexpensive way to relationships of love, harmony and loyalty. Do try it!
Dr. Sapna Sharma
Spiritual Counselor, Life Coach, Author & Speaker

Monday, 8 August 2016

Holistic Scientific program on RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT On Sunday 21st August 2016

Holistic Scientific program on RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT for those of MARRIAGEABLE age & THE MARRIED.( 25 years + only).

Next Program on relationship management for the youth will soon follow!!

Please SHARE with your contacts in and around NAGPUR if you believe it can help someone
How to Reach:
On Sunday 21st August 2016. Between 6pm to 8pm.
Venue: Banyan Hall, Chitnavis Centre, Civil Lines, Nagpur .
Please contact for more detail Dr.Chetan 9422444849 or collect your passes from Dr.sapna Sharma office S2, Manindra Smriti Nagpur, 8, Chitale Marg, Dhantoli, Nagpur, Maharashtra 440012, India